Thursday, June 16, 2011
i feel like an outsider when it comes to dance now.watching pple dance still excites me, seeing pple perform on stage reminds me of the adrenaline and exhilaration of dancing like no one is watching you. i noe i miss tt experience, and tt i will prob nv go throu it again.
i no longer feel involved. i no longer feel motivated. its no longer topping my priority list like it used to. its no longer 'i cant make it caz i got dance' - it has become 'i cant make it to dance caz...'
watching dance now feels more like a wash of nostalgia and memories more than a stimulation to work harder. thinking now of how my leg will prob ache for one wk after one lesson makes me hesitant. working on pointe for ten minutes aches my leg for 3 days. i noe this is psychological, but it has slowly formed a fence and has thus enclosed my so called passion for it. i am contented just for my legs to fully recover - i wonder when tt will happen. i feel its better, and i cant bear for it to go back to square one so quickly.
i will start slow.
deep down, i noe i still enjoy dancing when im dancing. n i noe i cant let it go just yet. but i just dun really experience tt charged up fuel towards it anymore. not now anw.
2 Comments:
u need to find a dance company with frenz and those who treat u like a family. a sense of belonging may make you feel more for dance. u use to have tt but now things have changed. probably age is a factor but i guess if u reali feel sth for dance u will find urself lost without it. i dunno wat's stoppin u but probably since u moved to bedok and u noticed better dancers at a younger age makes u a bit esistant n demoralised. but tt sd not b the case. tt sld motivate u to work harder n probably bcome better. so stay strong n not accept tis defeat, cos its not the case. supporting u always. love u.
its not about being defeated or demoralized by them, but by the condition of my leg. i want to practice but im afraid of what the strain will do to it now or in the future. so yea i shld see a doctor haha.
n yes e dance company thing is a factor too. love u.
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