Friday, September 28, 2007

oh fuck.
i know its good for me and i appreciate it and i deserve to be shitted to death for worrying you the way i did/do.
but.oh gosh.
ur breathing hot air down my neck and im feeling really smothered.
but.then again.these temporary feelings of agitation need to be felt caz sadly, i constantly need to be reminded or i'll most probably fall into the pit once again.
i feel like strangling that part of me.
when am i gonna learn and grow up.
i know the only way you will stop clamping down on me is tt you actually see me max my potential and print screen whatever i have inside onto the results slip.
i wish i had my brother's genes on this.
not necessarily the intellectual aspect, but the hardworking ones.

as i pen/type out my thoughts for this post,
i find my anger turning into guilt and sorrow.
i hope it will somehow turn into positive adrenaline to pull me through.
competition is scary.
im sorry.

by Miss Pek at 21:50 |